A Lesson in Bravery

I’ve been teaching online for almost a year now and absolutely love it! I don’t get nervous talking to a group of learners online at all. I completely enjoy the entire 2 hours of each class and am often surprised when we’re getting close to the end of our time together. The time always goes by so fast.
 
However, talking to a group of people that are actually sitting in front of me is a whole other story. I’m not sure what the big difference is, but there definitely is one! I guess it must be all the eyes watching me? I’ve always been this way. I distinctly remember the terror I felt in Elementary school whenever I was asked to get in front of the class and share something.

Public Speaking is a BIG phobia of mine.

This fear continued into high school as well. I would absolutely dread it each time and would try to avoid it at all costs–sadly, even sometimes choosing to lose marks by opting out of presentations. My fear becomes so intense that it actually triggers biological reactions in me: my face turns red, my neck gets all blotchy, and I end up talking at a ridiculous speed where no one can really understand me. Oh, and eye contact? Forget about it!
 
So a couple of weeks ago I was asked to participate in the Remembrance Day ceremony we were putting together at the Adult Education Centre. I was more than happy to help out with the assembly because Remembrance Day holds a special place in my heart, and I think it is really important that it be properly recognized each year.
 
They were looking for people to read things like poems and write ups about why we wear a poppy and why Remembrance Day is on November 11th. They were all lovely pieces and wouldn’t take anyone more than a minute to read. As much as I wished I could, I just couldn’t bring myself to volunteer for it.  We were to ask our learners if any of them would like to help out with the readings. Even though I felt like a hypocrite for trying to encourage them to do something I clearly couldn’t, I still asked. To my delight, a learner quietly stepped forward to volunteer. I was surprised, relieved and then a little nervous for him too.
 
The big day came. Everyone gathered into the auditorium. As I was sitting there with my learners, watching all the people take their seats, I was thinking that I had made the right decision in not volunteering. The ceremony started. It was my learner’s turn. I was SO nervous for him. I could tell that he was nervous too. He began speaking and his voice started cracking. He stumbled some words and apologized. Then silence. I was crawling in my seat, wanting to help him out so badly, but I was helpless. I wasn’t sure he was going to be able to continue. My heart sank.
 
But then, he took a deep breath and started from the beginning again. He gracefully and courageously finished the rest of the reading. It was beautiful. I was so proud of him that I wanted to clap, to stand up, to yell “Way to go!” but it was a Remembrance Day so not really the appropriate time.
 
I couldn’t wait to speak to him after the ceremony so that I could congratulate him on what a fantastic job he did. I really admire people who are able to speak in front of groups. When I saw him, I gushed and gushed telling him how wonderful he did and how proud I was of him. He just stood there modestly smiling. Then, I’m not sure why- because I already knew the answer was yes-but I asked him a question. I asked him, “Were you nervous?”.
 
His answer is something I will never forget. He said, “Yep, I sure was. But I figured if all those soldiers were brave enough to go and fight and risk their lives for us, I figured it was the least I could do to be brave enough to say a few sentences in remembrance for them.” Sigh. I was speechless. Simply amazing. Every time I think of his answer, I am moved.
 
I love how one sentence so simply stated by another person can totally change how you have felt about something your entire life. I am so inspired by that one learner’s answer, that I feel like next time, I will be able to be brave too.

The Poppy: A Symbol of Bravery